Sitting here, thinking.....Three weeks.

It's close and I'm thankful--That's what keeps going through my head.  I recently fought off a little bout with a cold, and now on my way back I think nothing of what I call "lost" time, and only what's to come.  How many times have I let detours distract me only to find them instrumental. Four day's ago as I sulked in my heart, and whispered under my breath how pissed I was that I was getting sick-I strolled into Fred Myers to get some tea and weapons to fight the little army invading my lungs and thoughts.  No sooner had I built camp around how horrible life is when I was halted by a nurse pushing a man in a wheelchair.

It was obvious-he was riddled with disease.

What is it about my human heart that so easily finds ways to jump ship?  I was ashamed....Like I am when I take for granted a friend, or my position as a father, or the privileged place of being married to my best friend. Shame is a horrible, horrible monster.  It's not guilt, or regret--emotions dealt in spades by satan himself.  Shame is sinister. It's understanding that I have taken hold of my life and realized how impossible it is to control, and with a dropped chin and mumbling voice I ask God to take it back. "Uh....I'm an idiot"...

I know this is a much deeper topic and drawing it together with sport is a bit of a stretch.  Point is....No matter what, I feel blessed. Despite what I think at the time, getting lost in the moment and loosing sight of the bigger picture is quite easy when outside forces are at work. Like in a race-- pain, discomfort, the inability to focus, is easy when we sulk.

Thank you Jesus for taking my shame.  It's easy to find this small example in my life evidence that you LOVE me.

In a few weeks when it hurts-help me think of how crappy I felt this week.  How I was healed and got through the few nights of coughing and fever. How that man I saw in his wheelchair would give anything to be running......

Thanks for reading.

New blog later this week about The Taxi Initiative, More Than Sport, and Mountain Top Ministries.  Also a few updates and Thank you's.