I miss Christmas.
I miss the morning's with Rhonda while my daughter sleeps in and Ian screams at his X-Box... still in his pajamas.... at 1 in the afternoon.
I miss not having anything "I have to get done", except watching Chevy Chase lose his mind on Christmas Eve, smile as Bing Crosby fall's off his horse, and coffee & pumpkin pie get passed around.
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| Ate A LOT of Sushi!!!! |
It was a great December!!! It was great to have Rhonda remind me-over and over- "Babe..you did it. You raced Ultraman and did well". She told me that a lot...and why? Why did she remind me? Because ...... I forget.No quicker way for us to loose joy than let ourselves think away the future and brush over the past. I had many talks with myself throughout the Christmas season. Having planned on going into the month totally relaxed and relishing in the accomplishment was my hearts intent-but as time creeps, so does discontent. No mater how many blessings I have--way more than I deserve--Worry can rust the strong and weaken resolve. All that to say-in my 'human-ness' I forget..and I am sorry. Something scary about the mind of a man when he is well rested and bored. It's a volatile mix, and if in those times I don't lean into God and, instead, lean into myself.....I lose. Rhonda is so patient.
I feel better just talking to God when I have this fight, praying with Rhonda, just stepping back.
No-It's not an all out war (I may be painting too bleak a picture), but I think athletes...or anyone, can lose sight after the build up to something big-completion of something big, and then-- recoil.
Something's off when I feel caught in a wash of want--and sensible advice feels like castor oil. When the thought of times I've talked other athletes through this same type of letdown (be it physcial or mental) and imagine giving myself the same medicine is too sour, I need to step back. (and Rhonda pulls me back, and Ian tells me to "Freaking chill Dad"and Evelyn just needs me to sit next to her) I step back and relax-and it is... so nice to just---chill.
I am so thankful for these past few weeks. To plug in and recharge. To heal and re-boot, because..it's that time to get rolling again.
I leave for Kenya next month.
Heading over with my friends Ian and Ann from the Ameena project-we will be working, and I will be learning.
I'll share more very soon about plans-but, keep us in your prayers as details get set and preperation is made.
In April-Chris Lieto will be coming to stay with me and events in Portland to raise awareness and support for the Ameena Project will be taking place. Sharing about More Than Sport, building community, and working together.
More very soon.
