something

“Most people gaze neither into the past nor the future; they explore neither truth nor lies. They gaze at the television.” 
― Radiohead

I've stared in awe at the TV more this week than I can remember in a long time. I mean really stared...like, "a thousand yard stare".  Accompanying this blurry, glass eyed daze has been the sting in my heart and cramp in my stomach that something is happening. Something...

What is the 'the something" though??

I know my 'something' is part total lack of understanding and grasping for answers, to the only hope I have on this earth.

Psycho doctor's killing babies by snipping spines with scissors...yes, you read right. Seeing that in some states you have to be eighteen to buy spray-paint, but at fifteen can go to 'Plan-B'.  People that had legs this time last month are saturated with images of those who blew them off on every news cast and magazine cover. Not to mention the lives taken. No matter your 'world view' something is going on. I'm wired to hurt when I see things like this. I think about these things often throughout the day, praying for comfort, praying for others. Just praying....   

My recent workout's this week have been filled with reflections on conversations with my children about what is going on--not music, audio books or pod-casts.  No matter the side of fence, line, isle, pew, desk,...whatever you are on--some of this has had to have crept in. Because we are all more than athletes, and, quite frankly.... a lot of what has happened in the last month has sucked, difficult to make sense of, and just hurt's to think about.

"What!!? This can't be happening."  I came back from an amazing run and was looking so forward to watching the end of Boston.

"Is this for real?" My ride ended just as the news started and I saw Dr. Gosnell on TV.

"C'mon! Are you serious?!" I returned from the pool elated that I just put in my biggest swim ever and grew aware of teenage kid's having to make decisions adults can't figure out.  

Where am I going with this?

Well for one, I'm taking a media break. People do 'cleanses' all the time with food, I need a break from TV. It's been a long time coming and has grown quite easy to plop on the couch after a big session and just let the tube do the thinking for me. Especially during really big week's, like the last one. It was a solid week.  I went to bat with my coach on a killer ride, and experienced progress first hand-it was good.  I put in big miles climbing and running throughout & my swim splits are getting better. Things are on track. But thinking a lot on the road--when real life comes into view,  I have to realize how little athletics mean, and how much more 'life' does-"Where do I really get my reality from?" is the thought that pop's in my mind when I am confronted with sadness.  It's reminded me how I felt in Haiti the first time. Everything else just sloughed away, and I was forced to recognize how little my problems really are.    

On a positive note, this has played a big part in my decision to team up with More than Sport. Sadly it's easy to have the 'rush' of miles, meters, and yards evaporate when I sit down elated after a good training day and watch TV. No...I'm not putting my head in the sand, or morphing into a luddite. I like TV.... and, I won't turn this blog into a commentary on society, or use it like a bathroom stall to write whatever. Nor am I going to do with TV what so many do with diet. "That's it..it's gone, I'm changing everything..." Just going to be careful for a bit, that's all.

 I enjoy  sharing training thoughts and gloating about how I love to team up with my great sponsors but,  I refuse to minimize writings simply to what I'm doing in shoes, on a bike, or in a speedo. I'm also well aware even as I share thoughts and feeling's about the topics above, I run the risk of pissing off a few people. It's cool...let's talk.

Bottom line-I encourage you who partake in this awesome thing called sport to think of "the something" on your next run, bike or swim. Running has always been linked to thought. On the road for hours at a time can easily be wasted with 'noise', I do it a lot.

Not sure what that "something" is? You don't need a tragedy, an injustice or depressing thought, though it's not hard to find one these days....try this--It is something for real.

I've come to realize every day that pace, heart-rate, shoes, cals, fuel, carbon fiber,... .is really all just crap. In 100 years from this moment it will mean nothing.  But this...this will mean something.

Actually it will mean everything. 

And...for the victims of Boston, the babies in the garbage, and teenage girls who need to be loved, and encouraged. I am sad for you, and will be praying. You are in my thoughts. Constantly.

You are all God's something.


2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 

Or this....

Zephaniah 3:17 
The LORD your God is with you, 
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."